Denver Nuggets vs. Dallas Mavericks

George Karl’s Nuggets are on FIRE!!!  Seriously how the hell is this team so good?  Everyone has waited for Carmelo to take that “next step” and stop being the black hole that he has been.  I didn’t see it this year.  Their 3 big men are all unique in their own way.  Nene is known by one name like Madonna, Tiger, or Pinchuk.  Kenyon Martin has a tattoo of lips on his neck and once mocked Alonzo Mourning for only having one kidney L.  Chris “Birdman” Andersen straight up scares me.  He looks like a Neo-Nazi with hair…long, pointy, wild hair.  Maybe him and Dirk can talk about things they have in common (being white NBA players and loving Hitler).  So why is this team so good?  The answer shares his name with my future dog, Chauncey.  Always underrated, yet always overrated.  Overrated in the “big shot Billups” sense.  He shoots a poor % from the field and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him make only 1 or 2 game winning shots, ever.  But, he ties all these misfits together.  He is the distributor and a calming presence on the court.  He’s not flashy, plays solid defense, and brings a leadership quality that the team was sorely lacking.  Where does he get all this power?  I think it’s his big, brown, beautiful lips.  Maybe that’s why Kenyon has that tattoo.

The Mavericks?  Seriously?  This team was left for dead during the season as they spent more time trying to explain the Devin Harris for Jason Kidd trade than focus on basketball.  Anytime your owner has more blog postings and tweets than your team has wins, things aren’t going right.  Kidd, by the way, is a turnstile defensively, and I’m shocked that Chris Paul didn’t average 30 points a game against him.  His son also had a mustache at age 4, look it up.  Josh Howard hates America, single-handedly ruined Steven’s fantasy basketball team, won’t sing the national anthem because he’s black, smokes weed but he’s miraculously “healthy” now and is a real difference maker for this team.  Dirk is Dirk.  He scores, plays mediocre D, but is always a mismatch for whoever is guarding him.  The real key to this team has been its bench.  Sixth Man of the Year, Jason Terry hits big shot after big shot and when JJ Barea gets hot, look out.  Even Mrs. Dampier has provided solid minutes.  Overall this team has come together nicely for the playoffs.

What will happen?  I like the Nuggets.  They’ve got a great coach, great team name, and the best player in the series.  That usually equals victory.  Look for the Mavs to compete as I don’t think either team is all that special, but the Nuggets are on fire, and when Nuggets are on fire, they smoke the competition.

Nuggets in 7. 

Los Angeles Lakers vs. Houston Rockets

The Lakers are unstoppable.  They have arguably the best basketball player in the league.  They have the best 2nd best player on a team, Pau Gasol, if you understood what I just said.  They have the best coach.  They have the best guy coming off the bench (Odom).  They have the biggest X-factor, Bynum, who could be huge if his knee holds up.  And it seems that they always have 1 or 2 other guys step up from nowhere.  Fisher is the perfect PG for this team and Ariza looks like he knows what he’s doing out there now.  Word is that Luke Walton used to blow enough coke in college it’d make Tony Montana blush, but he gives them good minutes.  Everyone seems to know their role and not only accepts it, but they excel in it.  Even Kobe.  If the team needs 40, then you’re getting 40.  If he needs to distribute, then he does it.  I still don’t think his teammates like him, but they don’t hate him as much, and that’s nice.  The Lakers will have more talent and be better than anyone they face, Eastern or Western Conference.  The only thing that can stop them (outside of Super-Aids), is themselves.  They seem to get off to hot starts and build big leads, then reach the “friend zone” and lose their aggressiveness and can’t score anymore (get it).  Against the Jazz, they could flip the switch whenever they wanted and it didn’t matter, the Jazz have too many white guys.  It just seems to be an L.A. thing to do.  If they can summon their inner Kevin Garnett and play 48 minutes like they do in the first 12, no one will beat them….except maybe the team they are playing.

The Houston Rockets are the low seed that no team wants to face.  They have a 7’6” Chinese dude with near 3-point range, 2 nasty defenders in Artest and Battier, solid role players, and most importantly no Tracy McGrady.  Bill Simmons enthusiasts might call it a “Ewing Theory.”  Except, I don’t think that analogy works when everyone knows the team would be better off without him.  I think his teammates know they are better without him.  I think he secretly wants his team to lose.  Its ironic that after all these years of not getting out of the first round, Tracy finally gets to watch his team get to the 2nd round, from the bench. This team seems to have hit its stride at the right time and shut down a very good Blazers team with relative ease.

The Lakers will throw a 7’ Spaniard and 7’ black man at the 7’6” Chinamen all series in hopes of slowing him down (even though he’s slow anyway) and getting him in foul trouble.  Look for Kobe’s scoring to be down so long as Ron Artest doesn’t have an album dropping this week.  But the Lakers just have too much depth, too much talent and look for them to take the series.

Lakers in 6