The Meaty Lasagna: We know sports, we know food, we know life.

An Inconvenient Poop

All of us have been there. That time you really just "had to go." It didn't matter where you were or what you were doing. My morning Cinnamon Toast Crunch and 6" turkey sub I ate for lunch just caught up with me. Except I wasn't in my apartment, not at a friend's place, I was in the law library. For those of you who don't know, the law library is one of the worst places to, you know. There are people EVERYWHERE and no matter which bathroom you go to, there will always be that person who watches you go in and watches you come out. What was she doing, timing me? So anyway, like anyone in my situation would do, I work my way over to the bathroom and obviously there were 2 cute girls from my class at the table right outside. Great. No matter, I've got more important things to worry about. Walk inside, fantastic, the normal stall is occupied, leaving the handicapped stall all for me. Won't go into this, Larry David has done an ample job. The one thing you can count on is that at least there won't be many people inside the bathroom, I'm sure they have the same concerns as me. Not today. I hear the door open and close, Jesus, someone is waiting on me. So I do my business, nothing to write home about. I wash my hands (handicapped stall) and proceed to open the door allowing the next nervous student to do what he does. Except, it isn't another student, it is my Professor. And I just left his class. And I had him last year too. We make immediate eye contact, then suddenly simultaneously realizing who each other was, lower our heads and walk swiftly. Did I make noises when I was in there? Did everything flush properly? Is this going to affect my grade? Should I apologize? Hundreds of questions run through my mind but only one truth: It was an inconvenient poop.

Heffrey, Guest Writer, 11.19.08